Conflicts...

Since Felix's born, my parents are having some disagreements with Mark and I regarding the ways to raise Felix healthily.

As he father of the child, Mark is always firm on breastfeeding and using a car seat even before I was pregnant. Other than that, I have the full rights to decide the rest and I basically gave the rights to my parents because I delivered Felix in Penang and my mom is the one that helped me during the confinement month...so Felix's born and completing almost all of the Chinese customs.

It's difficult to accept that the 2 major concerns of the father of the child can't be accept by the conservative people.A grudge was built up between my parents and Felix since the day he's ready to discharge as my parents believe the only way to secure baby's soft neck on a car ride is holding by an adult which I knew it's not true as I have seen people using that in the USA and I think it's safer for the baby and convenient for the parents. The grudge finally exploded into a big argument between my family and Mark in the first evening Felix went 'home' and since that my mom refused to talk to Mark at all regardless Mark apologized to her and try to talk to her as usual. From my point of view, both parties should also take responsibilities for that argument, Mark was in a bad mood as that is his first time staying with his crying baby for 30 min without knowing what to do and my mom giving 'advice' that are not really helpful as she doesn't have actual experience taking care of the under 2 years old child. With the combination of one of my family's suggestion regarding OUR better life, Mark didn't hold back at all and yelled back at them. Since that my mom keeps complaining about Mark interferes too much regarding raising Felix and refused to talk to him at all for months while my dad was complaining that Mark has too many theories...well...that is the father of the baby and shouldn't be given any rights to make choices for his baby? I know they must be too used to the the old Chinese-way that the father only play the role of donating sperm and bread winner but he is not Chinese and even some of the modern Chinese guys involve more in the family as the society changes.

Here's the flash back of the GREAT suggestion: one month before Felix's born, my mom and my sister actually trying to persuade us to move back to Penang and take over sister's tuition center because they think that is a better way to secure us financially instead of working for people. It doesn't matter how hard I tried to explain to them that we do not want to move back especially when the timing's bad that I don't think I can handle a tuition center plus a newborn baby, they were still insisting that is better compared to what we have now and hinting that I should be more mature and think about future. Guess what? 2 weeks after the argument, the MPPP officer was there to give my sister a notice that she has to close down in 7 days because the place she's renting doesn't have the permit to be used for commercial purpose, it can only use as residential. Few days later I have been told that my sister set that center up just to earn money and she's ready to close it down anytime when problem occurs as she doesn't even bother to work on the licenses. Here is my doubt...she's ready to close it down anytime when the government interrupt as it doesn't have any valid license and that is a more secure way for my new family in terms of financial?

Well, we had to go back to Penang after 2 months in order to collect Felix's MyKid. My mom still refused to talk to Mark until my argument with my dad. This time the focus is for the other thing that we didn't do it according to their way, we are breastfeeding Felix instead of using formula. They were saying that Felix didn't get enough to drink and it's better on formula like how they raised us and have to start feeding him with solid since the month of 4. I'm taking care of him alone in KL and if something happens, the first professional or experienced people I'll refer to is hospital, so I told them about the nurses in the hospital reminding me about solid only after 6 months and it even stated clearly in the booklet given. Despite my explanation plus showing them the fact of Felix's length and weight is average and healthy from the hospital, they still think that Felix's feet are cold sometimes because he doesn't have enough nutrient from just the breast milk.

That's so frustrating...so...for the mean time I'll try to stay away as the extra stress upset me and it affects Felix too. I'll see if I can pull myself back on that track later when Felix's more settle :) My current mission is only trying to give my best to Felix:)